| Letting
Go of Pain
Ever since we got married, my husband
has been an unemployed bum who only likes
to watch video, get into fight, drink,
hurt our family with unspeakable vulgar
language. It was barely for three months
when he was employed to support the family.
He expected me and my children to respect
and obey him as if we had been his slaves.
He became a sadistic alcoholic who likes
to watch me and my children cry and suffer
from his emotional and physical abuse whenever
he did not get his way. My children tried
to avoid him who was always drunk. He drank
all day, from the time he opened his eyes
in the morning until he went to bed in
the evening.
One day he bought a puppy and gave it
to my children saying, ¡°this puppy is more
expensive than you guys.¡± But soon after
he threw the puppy and beat it to death
because the puppy bit him while playing.
He cruelly poked the dying puppy with scissors
repeatedly and threatened me and my children
saying, ¡°I will kill anyone who does not
obey me.¡± Until then I tried to bear the
pain and keep the family together in spite
of his continued abuse. But at that moment
I was so frightened with fear that someday
he would kill us and realized we must flee
from him. I had to find way to let go of
that unbearable pain that I was carrying
in my heart.
I desperately knocked the door of a counseling
center and was introduced to Home on the
Green Pasture. Finally my children and
I found physical safety and emotional comfort
at the shelter provided with all the necessities.
My children who bore the pain with me could
relax here at the shelter and go to school
without fear of father. They said ¡°this
place is heaven since we don¡¯t have to
see father.¡± My faith was strengthened
here enough to be able to pray for him
after committing murder of my husband in
my mind countless times.
I am so thoroughly thankful to meet people
who are devoted to serve for women like
me drowning in pain. They made me realize
that the world is actually beautiful and
there is goodness in people indeed. I hope
that someday my children and I will be
able to return love we received and help
others as we were helped. I pray that God
will use us as His instrument for that
purpose.
[Sook]
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